archertitan: Speedy walked back to his room after his

archertitan (

archertitan) wrote,
@ 2005-09-30 11:52:00

Current mood:

depressed

Speedy walked back to his room after his conversation with Raven. He fell down onto his bed and replayed her words in his mind.

'I've been letting my emotions go. Doing and saying things that i would never do or say. Having feelings towards people I probably shouldn't be having feelings towards.'

He closed his eyes, trying to shut it out.

'Maybe..I was mistaking one emotion for another.'

This wasn't working.

He swung his feet of the bed and headed for the training room, thinking to let out his frustrations on some target practice.

And I can always try and drown myself in the showers afterwards, he thought, half joking.

(98 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	E-mail: To Speedy from Raven azarathsraven 2005-09-30 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	Speedy- I... think we need to talk. About what happened. I understand if you don't want to talk to me right now, but I just need to explain something before this gets out of hand. Can you meet somewhere? -Raven. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: E-mail: To Speedy from Raven

archertitan
2005-09-30 11:36 pm UTC (link)

Speedy noticed the message when he got back to his room, soaked with sweat. He hesitated, and opened it, reading it over. He left the message open on his computer and went to go shower.

Rae-

If you want to talk to me, I'm right down the hall.

-Speedy

He paused only a second before clicking "send". Maybe he was a little harsh, but her earlier words still burned in his head, raw and painful.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: E-mail: To Speedy from Raven

azarathsraven
2005-09-30 11:41 pm UTC (link)

Raven frowned at the short letter.

Well she did deserve it. She probably deserved worse. A lot worse.

Not bothering to send a second letter she headed for the door stopping before opening it, resting her head on the cold smooth surface of the door she sighed heavily.

"Just get it over with, stop being such a twit."

Sliding the door open she headed down the hallway to Speedys borrowed room. Lifting her hand she hesitated .... not sure if she should knock or not.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	Re: E-mail: To Speedy from Raven archertitan 2005-09-30 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Speedy was putting on a shirt when he heard footsteps stop outside his door. Raven. He considered waiting for her knock, forcing her to act, and showing her she wasn't the only one who could pretend to have no feelings. He lasted about a minute before opening the door and seeing her standing there with her hand raised, about to knock. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	Re: E-mail: To Speedy from Raven azarathsraven 2005-09-30 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	Stood there, suddenly feeling like an idiot for standing there with her hand in the air. Flushing she lowered her hand back into her cloak quickly and clearing her throat. "You.. got my email?" Duh, way to go Rae. oocly damns LJ. I so want to buy you a paid journal so you can have more shiny icons.. :P (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	Re: E-mail: To Speedy from Raven archertitan 2005-10-01 12:05 am UTC (link)
	He raised an eyebrow. He loved that blush she got when she was embarrased. Not that he was going to say anything about that right now. "Yeah." I would love you forever. But not really, because my Dragonlet account would get jealous.^_^ (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 12:12 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah...." She looked so uncomfortable. Raven looked over her shoulder and seriously considered just bolting right there. It'd be easy to do...just disappear. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 12:15 am UTC (link)
	"You wanna come in?" he asked, starting to feel a bit guilty. "Or...did you have someplace in mind?" (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 12:17 am UTC (link)
	"This is futile." She swallowed and shook her head, turning to leave. "Sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 12:20 am UTC (link)
	"Raven wait." He put a hand on her shoulder. "You're right, we do need to talk." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 12:21 am UTC (link)
	Stopping as he put a hand on her shoulder she tried not to slump. "I.. just wanted to say I'm sorry. I.. I have no idea what I'm doing here." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 12:32 am UTC (link)
	He squeezed her shoulder lightly. "I think you owe me more than an 'I'm sorry'," he said. "Come in. Let's talk." His pulse pounded in his ears. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 12:37 am UTC (link)
	She knew she owed him more than that. But how could she explain? Where to start? Her own heart pounded in her chest and she wished that she could disappear through the floor. "I.. I know I do." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 12:45 am UTC (link)
	"I...know about Malchior," he said quietly. "I mean...I know about before, what he did to you. Robin told me." He paused. "I'm...I won't do that to you, use you." If she was angry at him for prodding into her life, he didn't care. He had to let her know. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 02:03 am UTC (link)
	"He had no right to tell you that!" She looked at him angrily pulling away. "he had no right to say anything at all." She looked away and exhaled, getting control of her anger. "It's not that I'm afraid of you hurting me, it's that I'm afraidof hurting you. Like I have." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 02:15 am UTC (link)
	He flinched slightly. "Raven, I asked him to tell me. I remembered how you reacted when he was set free. You said he tricked you again and...I'm really sorry." He smiled slightly. "You hurt me because you were afraid of hurting me?" (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 02:19 am UTC (link)
	Started to retort but then sighed and rubbed her face. This was so damn complicated. "I didn't want to hurt you Speedy.Look, sit down. I have some explaining." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 02:22 am UTC (link)
	"All right..." he sat down on his bed, gesturing for her to take the chair. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

azarathsraven
2005-10-01 02:29 am UTC (link)

"You know about me. You know all about my powers and the control it takes to keep them in check."

She took a breath and tried to find a way to begin.

"All my life I was told that I had to have control over my emotions. All my lifeI was told I was going to die for a prophecy and that come hell or high water.. literally, that there was huthing I could do about it.

The prophecy came true, and I survived. And now, now I'm here with this 'new' life so to speak and no idea what to do. I have no idea how to handle these emotions that I feel, I don't know what's real, what isn't, if what I'm feeling really is that emotion or not."

She grew quiet for a moment. "It's like I told Rosie, they taught me things no kid should ever know, yet they never taught me how to be a human being."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 02:44 am UTC (link)
	He listened carefully, and patted the spot next to him, inviting her to sit next to him. "Let us help you, Raven. Me, your friends...let us help you learn how to be a human being. Your emotions are helping you learn." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 02:49 am UTC (link)
	"..." Raven shook her head. "I could hurt you guys. Look what I've already done to you. Look at how much damaged I caused." "I just don't think... I was meant to do this." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 02:54 am UTC (link)
	"You're overcomplicating things," he told her. "Any damage you've caused is out of fear of hurting us. You pushed us away to protect us, and that....hurt." He looked at her, catching her gaze. "If you weren't meant to do this, you wouldn't be able to feel," he said quietly. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

azarathsraven
2005-10-01 03:07 am UTC (link)

"I feel like I'm perched on this... ledge. The past against my back and the future staring at me in the face with a gaping maw. I look back and see what was and how things were. Then I look in front of me and I see you, I see my friends, those are the things that have stayed a constant, but...everything else is just a huge blank."

She sighed, she was over simplifying things again.

Raven put her hands to her face and mumbled, "I have no idea what I'm saying."

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	archertitan 2005-10-01 03:15 am UTC (link)
	He stood up and put his arms around her. "Raven, no one can see the future." He realizes what he just said. "Well, you know what I mean. It's how everyone not gifted with prophetic sight sees their life." He hugged her. "This is going to sound so corny, but...if you fall into that gaping maw? I'll be there to catch you." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	azarathsraven 2005-10-01 03:20 am UTC (link)
	Slowly slippede her arms around Speedy and leaned against him. This felt comfortable...this...felt right. No matter what else she doubted, this was something she was sure of. "I hope so, i have a feeling I'm going to do a lot of falling before I fly again." (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

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